Sunday, November 10, 2013

Why

It's been quite sometime since my last post, and I'm glad I didn't write anything as I've been sorting through the catalog of emotions, experiences, and life events that have shaped me.  I've asked myself a simple question quite frequently over the last several months that have helped organize and give purpose to these experiences..."why."

When I become bitter, outraged, happy, cynical, full of joy--whatever the emotion that  surfaces, I ask, "why."  What is the reason or purpose of this feeling...this natural instinctive state of mind deriving from my circumstances, or relationships with others.  These "triggers" aren't something I can help nor any human being can help feeling.  I used to feel guilty, but now, I just want to know the deeper meaning of these "triggers" or emotional stimuli formed by life experiences.

One trigger that seems to be released often is from a question that I am asked almost on a daily basis.  "Why don't you go to church anymore?"  This is a great question since a large portion of my life was spent in this context.  In my attempt to understand my emotional response, I have turned the question back around on the one asking, in hopes they will give me insight in why they think I should or shouldn't go.

Here are some of the responses I have received by me asking them, "why should I go to church?":
  • You need to sit under somebody and learn
  • You need to go for healing
  • You need a community of people
  • You need to go serve something bigger than yourself
  • You need a small group
  • You will never experience love like you experience from the church
  • Because the Bible says you should (this one was really lame and I had a hard time keeping my mouth shut...but I did)
  • Your kids need to be in church

I look over this list and ask you, "why should I go to church?"  Many of these seem very shallow, a little guilt laden, full of ulterior motives, and exclusive.  I'm on the other side now, where I work all week, have kids in sports (one of my favorite things to do is watch them--great joy), and to come to a Sunday morning/Saturday night service is not something I really want to do.   I don't want to add another thing...especially one that I've found to potentially destructive,  something I have to force my kids to go, and convince myself "it is the right thing." Yeah, that sounds fun...kinda like sitting at the dinner table as a kid being forced to eat the nasty brussell sprouts that you know is gonna make you puke.

So, to all you pastors out there--HERE'S YOUR CHANCE!!  Tell me, "why should I go to church."  I won't argue with you, attempt to embarrass you online, or debate you...I truly want to hear what you have to say.  I may disagree, but I will respect your response and hold my tongue.  I'll respect you just for having the balls to respond because I bet most will not respond.  Here is your chance to not only respond to me, but the hundreds of others like me that have disappeared off the "church scene" and the hundreds that are walking away each week.  Maybe some of you would like to respond in the opposite--why one shouldn't go to an institutional church (I lean in this direction). 

The bottom line is this: I ask, because I still care.  It may be covered in pain, but I still care.  I heard many years ago that you only become angry at what you truly care about.  Great advice! 

5 comments:

  1. We should gather as the church because we want to. But even when we want to, that desire ebbs and flows.It's human nature to ask "what's in it for me?" That's why Paul said to not "forsake the assembly" and all that. "As we see the Day approaching," we should be excited to gather with true believers in anticipating Christ's return. Find the church-within-the-church and gather with them -- whether it's in an institutional setting or not. Our Body is weaker without you, and vice-versa. And Jesus is less glorified when we can't do it in unity.

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  2. (I'm not a pastor.) This question has been instrumental in the journey of many Protestants who have converted to Catholicism. I go to church every Sunday because I believe in the holy sacrifice of the Mass. Because I believe that Christ gives himself to us completely -- body, blood, soul and divinity -- in the Eucharist. That the Mass is the perfect act of worship and prayer that we can offer our Lord. Not because it is always externally the most beautiful thing or even the most emotionally fulfilling type of worship. But because of what I believe is taking place at the supernatural level that our senses are unable to detect.

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    1. As a fellow pastor Nate, it sounds like we are on similar journeys. I feel your pain and sense the Spirit's working in your life. Peter reminds us that God cares for us, therefore we can share our fears and worries with Him. Church is first and foremost what we are (language is important), the "called-out" ones, those who belong to Christ and by definition, one another. So at one level, to say "we need to go to Church because ..." is nonsense. At another level, I believe the Spirit draws us to the Father through various means. The scriptures, the sacraments of baptism and communion, and the fellowship of other believers being prominent. All of these are communally experienced realities (yes, even the living word of God) found in relationship, hopefully loving friendships with others. We start with the Trinity (the "first family"), then our family and finally, through hospitality, see that extend to others in the family of God. People will at times let us down, as we them due to our as yet imperfection. But ironically, as Paul reminds us, we still need one another to help us keep journeying towards our final destination. The path is narrow, constraining at times. It means that we need to let some of those bulky things go that impede our progress, to discover that when all is said and done, what endures is love. It is love that propels me to risk moving towards others, thankful that He moved towards me. May God give us both his abundant grace for this.

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  4. Hi,

    I came by here via our mutual friend, Andy. I too struggle with this question and have been in out of going to Church. I personally feel nothing or get nothing from going. I feel out of place and some of the people I just simply struggle to like. It has felt more like a burden and certainly not a refreshment to my spirit or a blessing in anyway to go. But I go. I will continue to go and I will count myself a member among those people because they are my brothers and sisters in Christ. He wanted this church so bad he died and unimaginably painful death for it. His one prayer for us directly was that we would be unified. I find it ironic that the one response you blow off and call lame is the very word of God on the matter. Does his word not carry weight to you? Does it seem strange that God would ask you to trust Him and do what seems foolish in your eyes? Is this not the same God that uses the foolish things of the world to shame the wise? Is our God not the same one who told Naaman to dunk himself seven times in a dirty river to be made clean? Or spits in dirt and rubs them on a man's eyes to make him see? Foolishness all! But we are not our own, correct? We were bought with a price! We belong to Christ if he indeed is our Lord; if we have indeed repented of our sins and trust in him no matter what? Call it lame, I call it faith and obedience which is the least we can do as followers of Christ. We must trust in his promise that no matter how lame or bad things seem, he works all things for our good. As the song goes, trust and obey for there is no other way to be happy in Jesus.

    May God bless you greatly in the days ahead,

    Paul

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