"Called from something to become nothing, but the nothing is really everything."  How's that?  Make sense?  Probably not, and if it confused you as much as it confused me, don't feel bad...this is God outside the confines of religion--especially American Christianity.  Genesis 12:1 says, "The Lord had said to Abram, "Go from your country, your people and your father's household to the land I will show you." 

Hi, my name is Nate, and I was a pastor for nearly 15 years.  During that time I was given loads and loads of advice from other pastors...some really awesome, some--well, not so awesome, and some just down right crappy.  I have to admit that when I started I had no idea what I was doing and at the end I couldn't pastor with a clear conscience because of what I was doing.  The common bit of advice that other pastors always gave me was, "set up shop in one place, stay there for your whole life, and build an institution."  That one verse in Genesis haunted me every time I heard this..."Go..."  Then I would read the New Testament and saw the same thing over and over and over again..."Go..."  Yet, the profound thing about that scripture is the psychology behind it and how it went against all the advice I was given.

This phrase in Genesis is translated by many ancient rabbis as "Lech lecha", or "Go out to yourself", or "go for yourself."  "Your self" is defined by the ancient writers by the surroundings you grew up in (cultural conditioning), friends, and family.  It is these three things that define a person's identity.  It is very much like Maslow's hierarchy of needs...

Naturally, as humans we seek our basic needs, psychological needs, and self-fulfillment needs.  At the core of our being and by default we seek safety, security, and friends.  A wise teacher once told me that a person is shaped by these three things by the age of eight.  Therefore, the human attempts to fit everything back into the created identity matrix that was formed by culture, friends, and family.  They (the three needs) become the "gate-keeper" of how far a person can drift before they must come back to what created them. 

The writer of Genesis does something paradoxical and somewhat of a psychological oxymoron, by telling Abram to leave this identity matrix...and just--"roam."  Abram was to explore that which was outside of everything he had come to know...in order to find...the person underneath that which he thought he was.  This "God, who was unlike the god(s) he grew up with and was calling him to curiosity.  This "God" was calling him to explore a bigger world than the world he knew.  This "God" was calling him to a broader perspective than the one he was accustomed to seeing.  This "God" was calling Abram to interact with other who were not like Abram. 

Could the underlying question the writer is trying to convey, "Is Abram who he thinks he is based upon his upbringing, friends, and family outside of Maslow's triangle?"  Maybe, just maybe,  the writer is trying to tell us that curiosity (God-given, of course...wink, wink) will lead us to explore the world...and interacting with that outside world will begin to help us define who we really are.  Scary...you better believe it is--scary as hell!!  I would call this "counter-subcultural."  Counter-subcultural because it goes against the grain of what I came to know as church, pastoring, and Christianity.  In my "leaving", there will be "finding"...new things. 

I had to leave my home, friends, and the family I loved dearly in order to see if the person I had become was for real, or just a figment of my imagination.  Then that figment would become a false reality in which I tried to fit everything.  Texas became my "lech lecha."  It was here I could finally let go of what I thought I had to be.  Have I "arrived"?  No way!!  I find that I'm just beginning, but my beginning had to be the ending of my created reality.  I just wonder how many other pastors and Christians out there are living the same thing, but are too scared to "pull the plug" from "The Matrix" because it supplies them with their safety, security, and relationships.  Yet, they know deep down inside that this thing we have created may just be a figment of our imagination that fuels the world that we have created--in our own image.  For me, lech lecha at this point in my life means I gotta leave the institutionalized church world.  It supplied me with the security of a living--a paycheck.  For many out there, "church, is a place of safety, security, and relationships--and it is all they know.  What if God calls people to leave that to find something more?  When you are so ingrained in something since you were born, it is hard to see it for what it really is--until you leave it, for a while.  You know longer can appreciate it for its original purpose...does that make sense?

I'm hoping the purpose of this blog will be to give courage to those that feel "stuck" and "trapped" by something that supplies their three needs.  THERE IS SO MUCH MORE!!! God has given you and I an entire world, curiousity, and a sense of imagination to explore everything he created, to interact with others unlike you--even others of different beliefs, that in so doing you can be you--more and more.  A profound thought...image-bearers of God interacting with other image-bearers of God.  In doing this, family and friends become SO MUCH MORE!!!  Love doesn't become stale, monotonous, or mundane.  What if God gave us permission to leave, be curious, ask questions...and may I dare to say...doubt.  Journey with me...LECH LECHA!!